Re-Framing Part Two

Re-framing Part 2.

“There is no agony like bearing the untold story inside you.” says Maya Angelou. I agree. The other side of a re-frame, is considering how what you convey is interpreted. You may have something inside of you, burning to come out- but what of the consequences? Life is really all about cause, and effect. I heard the story of a couple, with marriage difficulties, who consulted with a counsellor. They were encouraged to “get everything” of their respective chests. First, the husband, (because he was the initiator of the consultation) then the wife. After un-bundling himself of all his irritations with his wife, she was then invited to respond. Can you imagine her result?
Although we may be well practised in re-framing occurrences to have a more favourable outcome, the people around us may not be aware of this practice- and be taking us literally. Always try to be congruent in body language, (If you are not familiar with body language, get yourself a book, and devote a weekend or so absorbing the book. I have found Allan Pease to be pretty down to earth. A tip to consider with body language, is to always look for clusters of 2 or more behavioural patterns before jumping to any conclusion.) what we say, how we say it, and the point we’re trying to convey. (Its not what you do, it’s the way that you do it-that’s what gets results.)
The point I’m trying to emphasize here, is to get yourself to a position of power. If you’re feeling “hard done by,” or maybe that someone has taken advantage of you, or unjustified in some way, then it’s hard to access the full arsenal of tools or skills available to you. The talents which you may have honed with continual practice, (which you need to draw on, to cope with a given situation) may not be available to you-because momentarily you find yourself of balance. This may be due to feedback from your mind, or the people in your immediate environment.

With re-framing, there is 2 situations to consider. Content re-framing, and context re-framing. Lets look at both.

Content re-framing.
Content re-framing is giving an interpretation a new meaning. A neighbours continually barking dog could be an irritation. But if you imagined that the dog was trying in her way to protect you, and had assigned herself the position of community protector, and was saying in her doggy language “1’oclock, and alls well. 2’oclock, and alls well” etc, you may even feel comfortable.

Context re-framing.
Context re-framing is basically timing. Lets say your boss is just off the phone with a customer threatening to take him to “the media” with a misrepresentation allegation, would not be the best time to ask for an increase. But if your boss has just closed a deal, making the company a lot of money, your request may be more fruitful.

This article is not meant to be any kind of definition, or guideline on r-framing. It represents the experiences I’ve had, and is purely aimed at getting you to think and consider other possibilities. I wish you every success.